30 April 2011

A string of my worst days yet.

Aside from momentary lapses of being merely OK, the last week has been just awful. I have found little to be positive about in regards to my health as I have begun feeling increasingly sicker every day.

Let's start with my headache. On average, my headache has been ranging between 9-10 every day. There is no reason that I know of for the uptick. It just hurts...a lot! The T3's are only masking the pain at this point; and only barely just at that.

Next, let me talk about feeling lousy. I alluded in the last update or so about feeling just crappy all the time. This isn't about nausea; it's about feeling as if my whole body is breaking down--which it basically is. Nausea is only a small part of it. I've explained before it's like having the flu, without the temp rise. The body aches are severe; the nausea is non-stop; the lousy feeling in my abdomen is growing stronger and is nearly non-stop; etc, etc. Every day seems to be getting worse than the day before. I am miserable...to put it mildly.

My sleep, because of everything listed above, has been ridiculously poor the last week. I'm averaging about five hours of extremely restless sleep per night. I do take naps during the day; but I awaken feeling just as crappy as when I went to sleep.

My energy is depleting more and more. Even simple tasks have become far more difficult. I've even found that writing letters, my blogs, and even surfing the Internet have all become extremely tiresome. I can mentally push through this most of the time; but even doing that is getting harder.

The ammonia smell and taste have also been worsening. Even small exhalations bring intense odor. I know it's becoming even more evident to others as well. The other day I was talking with my daughter about her now completed college graduation when she interrupted me stating, "Gee dad, that ammonia on your breath is just nasty!" (Tell me about it!) Everyone I'm around is too polite to say anything; but it is definitely getting worse.

The nausea has grown in both intensity and duration. I have been taking a lot of Promethazine once again; seemingly to no avail. At least I'm not throwing up--just feeling like it...a lot.

At my daughter's graduation celebrations yesterday I was told by a friend whom I hadn't seen in a while "You're really looking sick now. I can see it around your eyes, and across your face. And when you smile it's easy to see there isn't much behind it." That's certainly to be expected when you've got organ failure occurring.

That's it. I'm too tired to write much more; and I can't remember whatever else it was I was going to tell you. I'll try to write my blog more so that I have a better accounting of my day to day. Doing so will only be possible if I'm feeling up to it.

...Oh! I remember one thing that's actually positive...My AV Fistula is strengthening nicely. The Thrill is growing stronger to the touch, and the sound is also growing louder and stronger [through my stethoscope].
So, great news on that front!

Keep Smiling, Everyone! And remember to always carry a positive thought in your mind to give you strength and hope!

Good Health to All!

ScottW