01 April 2013

No April Fools jokes...I really am here to write a blog entry.

Sorry about two weeks passing. I have not been feeling the best lately, and typing up an entry just seemed like a lengthy, arduous chore; and I just haven't had the mental energy to overcome that.

So, let's get going with the weights:

16 March 13
Starting Weight:  106.0 Kg
Ending Weight:  103.5 Kg
Water Removed:  2.50 Kg

19 March 13
Starting Weight:  106.7 Kg
Ending Weight:  103.2 Kg
Water Removed:  3.50 Kg

21 March 13
Starting Weight:  106.6 Kg
Ending Weight:  103.1 Kg
Water Removed:  3.50 Kg

23 March 13
Starting Weight:  106.7 Kg
Ending Weight:  103.3 Kg
Water Removed:  3.40 Kg

26 March 13
Starting Weight:  105.8 Kg
Ending Weight:  103.3 Kg
Water Removed:  2.50 Kg

28 March 13
Starting Weight:  106.3 Kg
Ending Weight:  102.8 Kg
Water Removed:  3.50 Kg

30 March 13
Starting Weight:  106.0 Kg
Ending Weight:  104.4 Kg
Water Removed:  1.60 Kg

As you can see, the wild weight swings have partially eased off. My top weight has become steady; though my body is still dropping an extra kilogram most of the time. The 104.4 kg end weight on my last Tx was the first time all March that I either did not give too much back, or that I even got close to my dry weight. I am just happy I am not ballooning up top 107-108 kg's. That was so hard on my body! Too many cramps go along with that when combined with a 4+ kg loss during Tx.

Also, remember my March labs and the two consecutive jumps in phosphorous? Well, the dietitian was greatly concerned about the huge leaps and ordered additional testing and we actually saw another jump (from 5.8 up to 6.6--which is way over the top of the range). A week later, on yet another draw, my phosphorous dropped all the way down to 4.8. She--the dietitian--consulted with my nephrologist who stated that the jump in the phosphorous numbers was most likely the result of further loss of renal function, then my body trying to compensate (hence the jump then drop in the number). Since we no longer test for the GFR (Glomelular Filtration Rate, or total kidney function), then we don't know the impact on my kidneys.

On my end of things, I continue to urinate at a decent volume, and more often than not, my urine is fairly clear and free of particulates or proteins. Yes, I still have instances of decreased volume, foamy urine and moderately yellowed in color, the truth is that right now, aside from decreasing frequency of urination, my kidneys seem to be doing a fairly decent job. I still have LOTS of bilateral flank pain--this has never gone away or even decreased--and I feel like garbage most of the time; but at least I haven't felt any major downward turn in my day to day health. And frankly, I don't know if this is a good thing, or bad. In either case, I'll certainly take a bit of a reprieve.

My overall appetite has decreased by around 25%. I no longer eat breakfast at all; not even a bowl of cereal. My lunches aren't happening until two or three in the afternoon, and my dinners are less than they were a month ago. Plus, I'm not snacking hardly at all.

And my liquid intake has decreased as well; though this one is voluntary. As I get closer to renal removal, I am continuing my efforts to get used to decreasing volumes of liquids. It still isn't fun; but again, I don't want to have to make the adjustment after I have no kidneys. Getting used to being thirsty is not an easy thing to do. However, for myself, this is the best way to approach this impending reality.

With the huge swings in my weight (pre and post-dialysis), I have been feeling lousy. I have been awoken from my dialysis nap with nasty, painful cramping in both feel and lower legs. Unfortunately, standing is the best way to alleviate the cramping; followed by drinking water (or in my case, Smart Water by Glaceau). Also, the extra fluid losses are causing extreme exhaustion and ultimately, ruins my off days with more exhaustion, sore legs and just feeling lousy.

And on top of all that, my nausea has increased over the last few weeks. I am taking Promethazine (the anti-emetic) more frequently. The nausea is hitting at all times of the day. It particularly likes getting me in the middle of the night. Nothing like waking from a sound sleep feeling as if you'll throw up any second, and having to just deal with that for 45+ minutes until the Promethazine kicks in. Then, you get to sleep in a long time and feel ridiculously groggy for hours after you awaken. Not exactly my idea of fun...but at least I can kill the nausea for a while; which is always a great thing!

My dreams have been good lately. No nightmares, and I have been controlling things in my subconscious with little effort on my [conscious] part. It is a really nice break from the terrible dreams that can very easily bring down my defenses and bring hopelessness and despair to my heart. I still never remember my dreams--which is nothing new--I just know when I've had dreams in which my conscious mind had to alter events or emotions in my subconscious. Conversely, I know when my dreams have been good in general, and I have not had to change anything. This part of my fight I am always grateful for. How you sleep and dream so greatly influences your conscious mind that I undoubtedly would not be as strong if I was having a struggle subconsciously. You've read about how instances of bad dreams have negatively affected me; so, you also know that when I say my dreams have been good, I am doing exceptionally mentally, from day to day.

That's never to say I don't get tired of all this. Anyone would. I have my days when I just want a break. Never getting discouraged, mind you...just wanting a break for even a few hours. But, I always fight through this and keep my mind in a good place. You practice this long enough and I can promise you that is becomes habit and fairly easy from day to day.

However, giving me additional strength every day--sometimes every minute--are the thoughts, prayers and general support I get from my family and my many friends around the world. Thank you all for every effort you make for me. I literally could not do this without you! My friends and loved ones are my pillars, and I stand strong because of you.

And with that, I shall say so long, for now. I will try to avoid another two week lapse in my blog entries...no promises, though.  ;o)

Good Health to All!

ScottW