04 March 2011

As things get on I am having increasing difficulty in summoning the strength to write my blog. My brain is as exhausted as the rest of my body. Writing in any of my blogs (and not just this one) is starting to seem overwhelming.

Things have continued to go downhill. My headache is every present, and almost never less than a 9. My daily usage of the T3's for my headache has increased to a daily average of over 3. The kidney pain I'm experiencing also adds to that, as well.
Speaking of the pain over my kidneys...That continues unabated. As earlier, it is stronger on the R side. The new recliner I have has been a tremendous help in making me more comfortable. It would definitely seem that a cyst or two (or more) are quite enlarged and highly sensitive.

In spite of my exhaustion, I am only sleeping about five hours per night. I awaken feeling as if I haven't yet gone to sleep. Any naps I take have the same result. Even if I sleep over twelve hours a day (including naps), I am walking around in a fog, yawning all day, and feeling like every bit of strength has been drained from my body. I have never in my life felt such thorough, utter exhaustion. Unless you experience it, I don't think you'd remotely understand...I know I didn't.

I seem to be feeling worse more and more with each passing day. It no longer feels like having the flu. I have tried to describe it, but always come up short. Let me try again...

-The nausea is constantly present. It just depends of how severe it is at any given moment. The last week it has been increasingly bad. I am taking Promethazine (anti-emetic) every day now.
-The general malaise over my whole body has intensified (?). I'm sure it goes back to the exhaustion.
-My appetite is the worst it has yet been. No food is actually appetizing; now I'm eating whatever is less unappealing. (Seriously!) as a result, I am snacking less, eating less (when I do eat), drinking less fluids of any type, etc. My daily intake of fluids has dropped from [approx.] 100 fl. oz. down to [approx.] 64 fl. oz. My total food intake (including snacks) has dropped to about 2.5 cups per day. There are days now and then when I eat more than that; but also days when I eat next to nothing. My one daily meal is now between 1.75-2.0 cups.
-My so-called "good days" are now only days when I don't feel terrible. Today is a "good day." Yesterday (Thursday) was a
really bad day. I actually complained for once. My nausea was intense in spite of the anti-emetic, my headache was overwhelming, my exhaustion was beyond overwhelming, and my brain was thoroughly tired, too. Near the end of the day I asked my wife if I could whine a little--she said yes; I told her, "I am tired of feeling so damned crappy all of the time." (That's it. I just needed to get that out.) I felt a little better (mentally) after that.

So, even after all of that, I don't think I came even close to telling things accurately. But at least I tried.

I have found something that helps me tolerate the ammonia. I had been using some wintergreen Ice Breakers to help alleviate the taste and odor. Well, that product had become ineffective so I have been looking for another solution. I found that--or at least, one that works for now--in the form of sugar free cinnamon Altoids. The intense burst of cinnamon obliterates the ammonia odor and taste. So for now, I have a way to combat that bit of nastiness.

There were a few more things I wanted to tell you; but, they're gone. I don't remember...what a surprise, eh? (That one's for my Cannuck friends!) :o)

Good Health to All!

ScottW